m e m o r y

Who I want

Wednesday, November 28, 2012 | 1:41 PM | 0 comments

Who I want is someone who will love me unconditionally and can promise me more than I can promise him. I want someone who tries in everything he does. As long as he tries, then that’s what counts. He doesn’t have to be some super genius or a scientist, or an aspiring doctor or engineer, because that’s not what I’m looking for. I’m looking for someone who is positive, full of life and happiness and in short, a good guy that I can welcome to the family and introduce to my friends. Of course, intelligence has always been important to me, but I believe that everyone is intelligent in their own ways and therefore I have no reason to judge anyone on their intellectual skills. I want someone who can laugh and smile at my jokes and my lame personality. I do not want someone who says things to make me happy, I want someone who can tell me the truth and encourage me. If he is unhappy, I want him to tell me why. If he is mad at me, I want him to tell me what I did wrong. If I made him upset, I want him to be able to turn to me and tell me his feelings. I want someone who will never get bored of me—though I’m asking for the impossible. I am, in my opinion, quite boring. If I could have it my way, I’d most likely stay home all day, cook food, write, read my favourite books and be in the warm comfort of my family. Although I do like to go parties, I usually only go to the parties with the people I know I’m comfortable with. I hate going out of my way, but I hope I’ll find someone who is able to see that if I do go out of my way for them, they are very special to me. I hope to find someone who can understand that although I may appear distant and inexpressive I want them to know how much I love them, with all my crooked heart. I’m not good at telling people their importance, because in my heart, I feel like they ought to know already without me telling them. But then again, who am I to say that? I always need reassurance… I need to know that I can tell you I love you and share you my deepest feelings and know that you will be there the next morning, and the next, and the next. And that you’d never leave me. Because I’ve been hurt, and abandoned, and left so many times, but despite all that pain I’ve endured in the past, I’m still crazy enough to risk the pain again to find someone who will fall in love with me all my flaws. Because that’s me. I was born to find the one and fall irrevocably in love with them. I was born to find my soulmate. I was not destined to save thousands of people nor was I destined to become an engineer, or an artist, or doctor, or become an entertainer to entertain the public… In my opinion, I was born to search for him and he was born for me… to bring meaning into my depth-less life, to bring light, and colour, and everything I thought I don’t deserve. He is my savior and he’s out there somewhere, looking for me as I am looking for him. And I am waiting here for him. Because he is who I want. Because he is my destiny. Because though I am not the smartest, and not the kindest, or the most purest and perfect of girls, I was meant for him. And because as filled with flaws as I am, he will be too, he will have scars, and he will have everything I never thought I’d come to love, but he is it. He will have a barrier because he too, will be afraid to fall in love, and together we will break our barriers together. Because he will be everything I need, and I will be everything he needs. He is the most imperfect being I will ever meet and his imperfections is what makes him so perfect, and the two of us will be together one day. I strongly believe it. If I don't find him this lifetime, I will surely find him in the next. Because he is my Greater Perhaps and we are each other’s saviors. I just know it.